Didn't You Know
by Kariesue
Summary: Nancy sees John in a different light and looks back on their relationship - future fic - J/T


**disclaimer: **don't own it, *sigh*

**ratings:** K+ for one tiny little word just to be safe

**A/N:** Sorry, still not the sequel you were looking for (but I do have 30,000 words written for that so far, nowhere near done, though) and this is _**not**_ in that universe.

Another muse snuck up and held me hostage, this one demanding a story from Nancy's perspective. It happened during an 18 hours drive while I was listening to Kellie Pickler's song 'Didn't You Know How Much I Loved You'. I need to stop taking long drives!

Future fic with John/Teyla very established

**Reviews: **if you want the other sequel done, reviews make me work faster, just FYI.

**Didn't You Know **

by _kariesue_

_._

"Nancy, remind me again what this big shindig is about," Grant requested of his wife as he straightened his bow tie so it was just perfect. "You know I like to be able to at least pretend I know what's going on at these functions."

Nancy walked into the room adjusting the strap on her red evening gown and answered, "It has several purposes actually but the highlight of the evening will really be the marking of ten years since the Atlantis Expedition went to another galaxy."

"Wow," Grant shook his head. "Hard to believe they kept that quiet for so long. The world only found out about the whole Stargate Program maybe eight months ago. And that started what… six or seven years before Atlantis? They only really just started letting us in on the Atlantis Expedition information. I'm sure you got a peek at the guest list, am I right? Anyone there I should be aware of?"

Nancy smiled knowing Grant was always on the lookout for the next best thing. And he never missed an opportunity to present himself in the best light.

"I did manage to get a look," she admitted, "but it was really only a tiny one. The list had over five hundred names on it. They were guarding it pretty close. But I can tell you that several judges, senators and congressmen will be there as well as quite a few ambassadors from different countries, specifically the ones who have representatives on Atlantis."

Grant gave a sly smile and brushed his hands down his suit once more to smooth out any wrinkles. Nancy loved that he was so fastidious about his clothes and how he looked. John could never be bothered to look like he had done anything more than roll out of bed and put on shoes.

Nancy looked in the full length mirror and checked out her own appearance. The dress looked nice on her, emphasized her assets. And red had been a color John had loved seeing her in. Not that she was wearing this dress for that reason at all. But she had to admit that when she had quickly skimmed the guest list for tonight's grand gala, one name had stood out; Colonel John Sheppard.

She certainly was curious as to how John had gotten an invite to this event. But over half of the guests were some branch of the military and John was now a full Colonel, he must have friends somewhere. And there were a few names that she had recognized as being instrumental in some of the key locations in the Middle East over the last ten years. Perhaps John had something to do with that. She really didn't know since she had no idea where he had been stationed for that period of time.

The last time she had seen him had been the day after his father's wake when he had asked for a favor from her. She had used her security clearance to get him some information and had tried to do some snooping about him as well. But the walls that went up regarding John Sheppard had been almost as big as the walls John put up to keep anything emotional from affecting him.

So she still had no clue what he was up to. But maybe tonight she could see who he was sitting with and talking to and get some better insight on what he'd been up to so long. But she was sure that whatever he was doing, he was doing it solo. John never liked to rely too heavily on others. He never wanted help from his Dad or his brother and if something was bothering him, he kept it all inside, never once asking Nancy to help get him through it. It had been one of the reasons she couldn't stay with him.

But tonight she would be there in this dress that she knew made her look stunning with her hair pinned up and just a few wispy curls to tease her neck. Oh, how John had loved to tease her neck. _But that's beside the point,_ she repeated to herself. She wasn't getting all dolled up for _him_. She was a representative of Homeland Security and as such she needed to look her best. And she would have Grant on her arm to help her do it.

She gave a sigh of satisfaction when she looked at her husband. He was exactly what a woman in her position needed in her life. He was extremely handsome with his stylishly cut sandy blonde hair and trim figure. He was several inches taller than her which was nice since John had always been much taller than her unless she had a good set of heals on and then she would strain her neck looking up at him all night.

And she _would _admit that she had liked looking at John. There was no doubt the man was handsome although in a rakish, reckless sort of way. But where Grant _knew_ he had appeal, John had been clueless. Wherever they went, women would flirt and play with him and he was oblivious to his charm. Unless of course he wanted something. Then he knew exactly which smile to pull out to get his way.

Nancy fixed a few strands of her hair and adjusted the bodice of her halter dress. She and Grant had decided that children weren't really part of the plan for people of their stature and professional goals. And when she looked at her still firm chest and trim waist she was glad. Children would have made her all saggy and droopy and she would never have been able to pull off a dress like this. It clung to her figure in all the right places and had a very low cut neckline and with the great bra she had on made her chest look even more endowed and on display. She'd made many deals for herself and Grant wearing dresses like this.

But tonight she wanted to show John Sheppard what he had missed out on, letting her go all those years ago. _Okay, he didn't really let you go and you know it, you released him_.

Nancy sighed as she admitted she was the one who had asked for the divorce. But she had done it hoping he would cave in and beg her to stay, saying he would do anything for her. But he had just remained quiet as he usually did when he couldn't face something emotional. And he had given her the freedom he thought she wanted. _Damn him, why couldn't he have fought for me?_ She would have been willing to compromise if only he had shown that their marriage was worth fighting for.

She picked up her purse as Grant told her the limo was here. Yes, she wasn't definitely better off now. Grant gave her love and commitment and John certainly was never responsible enough to commit to anything for any length of time. Tonight she was sure she would have her speculations confirmed.

.

.

She and Grant checked in at the arrival table getting their table number and Nancy scanned the other name cards to see if John had arrived yet. Grant did the same thing but she knew he was seeing who else was due to arrive and who else was sitting at or near their table.

The large elegant ballroom was already crowded and Nancy searched the room scanning for people she knew. She recognized quite a few since she and Grant attended many of these types of political affairs but she wasn't on a first name basis with all of them. But she knew it was part of her job to get to know as many in the group as possible and make them feel comfortable and welcomed.

She thought about the Atlantis contingent and wondered how many of them were actually here. Supposedly they were sending most of the people from the original expedition who were still stationed there. She couldn't even imagine; living that far from home for ten years. She knew they hadn't really had a choice for the first year, which really made her wonder about these people who had gone on the mission knowing they might never come back, but now they were still choosing to stay there. Why would anyone do that?

Grant snagged a few glasses of champagne as a waiter walked by and handed one to Nancy. Then his eyes immediately went on the prowl. They moved to their table which was in the far right corner not far from the raised platform that was set up for a speaker or presentations, most likely. As Grant's eyes roamed, he pointed out a few people in the room that he should try and talk to at some point.

"I see a few I'd love to catch up with right now before they start serving dinner or doing any kind of presentation," Grant declared. "Some people actually try to leave right after all that and then I'd never get my chance. You don't mind, darling, do you?"

"Of course not, Grant. I'm here for work, too and I should probably start introducing myself around. I'd really like to meet some of the people who have been living in another galaxy for a while. I'll bet they have some interesting stories to tell."

"I'm sure they do," Grant agreed dryly. "But unless they can bring me new business or get me in good with someone who can, I really don't have time for that right now." He gave her a polite kiss on the cheek and wended his way through the crowd to his intended objective.

Nancy took another sip then turned around to see who was sitting at tables near them. She saw a gentleman who was close to her age looking through the crowd also but he seemed a bit confused. Here was a good place to start.

"Hi, I'm Nancy Anderson, I'm a director for Homeland Security. I'm supposed to make sure people are feeling welcome and having a good time tonight. You look like maybe you have a question?"

"Oh, no question really, Nancy," he replied in a thick Scottish accent and Nancy wondered how he got on the list of guests here tonight. "I just seemed to have misplaced one of my friends. But I'm sure he'll show up at some point. Knowing him, probably when the food arrives."

The man then seemed to realize he had forgotten to introduce himself, held out his hand and apologized. "Oh my goodness! How rude of me. I'm Dr. Carson Beckett and I guess it's been a while since I've been to such a truly glamorous event. Well, to be honest I don't think I've been to anything quite this lavish _ever._"

"You're from Scotland, Dr. Beckett, what brings you here?"

"Aye, lass, I grew up in Scotland but I've been living quite far away for many years now." He looked around like he wasn't sure he should say anything. "I've been in the Pegasus Galaxy. I know it's out in the open now but for so many years we had to keep it a secret from anyone on Earth that it's become a bit of a habit."

"So you're with the Atlantis contingent?" Nancy exclaimed excitedly. "I was hoping I'd get to meet some of you. It must be quite exciting to have traveled to other planets but I imagine it must be pretty scary at times, also. I don't know if I'd ever have the courage to do it."

She saw the man almost puff up his chest when she spoke of courage. "Well, I must admit it was pretty daunting the first year when we had no communication with Earth. We were out there all alone and had to find some fairly creative solutions to many of our problems. Luckily we had many incredibly talented and innovative people on the expedition team. I don't think we would have survived without some of them."

"_Doctor_ Beckett?" Nancy questioned. "Are you a medical doctor or a scientist because I know they sent both types?"

"Aye, a medical doctor and thank goodness for that. Many of our people got banged up much too often; our Military Commander for example. Now there's a lad who's a bit too gung ho and energetic for his own good sometimes. The number of times I had to patch him up because of some daring rescue. Oh, don't get me wrong, we were always glad when he saved some lives but he risked his own neck far too many times if you ask me. There were a few close ones where I thought we would lose him."

"Sounds like the type of person you'd _want_ on that kind of expedition, though, right?"

"Oh, without a doubt, my dear," Beckett nodded quickly. "If it weren't for him, many of us wouldn't be here today."

"Is he here? I'd love to meet him."

"Aye, he's here somewhere. Trying to avoid the reporters no doubt. He's not one for being in the public eye. I wouldn't exactly call him shy but he definitely doesn't like the spotlight on himself."

Nancy chuckled. "A reluctant hero?"

Carson chuckled also then turned when he heard his name called.

"Carson, oh, there you are. I've been looking all over the place for you." A balding man probably in his forties came barreling in between the tables and started pulling on the neck of his tuxedo. "God, I hate these stupid things. I don't know why they make you wear them at these types of functions."

"Rodney," Carson pointed out. "I've been standing here near our table since we got here. How is it that somehow _I'm_ the one that got lost?"

"Whatever, semantics," the man waved away then continued, "Well, come on I need you to… oh hello!" He suddenly realized that Nancy was standing there. He gave a big smile and then glanced down at the rest of her. She smiled. The dress did it every time.

She held out her hand. "Hi, I'm Nancy Anderson, a director with Homeland Security. It's nice to meet you."

"Uh, Doctor Rodney McKay. I'm head of Science and Research on the Atlantis Expedition. It's really nice to meet you but I need to interrupt and take Carson away for a little while. Maybe you could finish your chat a little later."

"Of course, Dr. McKay. It was nice talking with you, Carson."

Nancy watched as they walked away and she smiled again as McKay whispered not as quietly as he thought, "Seriously, Carson, she is _hot_! Did you see that dress?"

Carson chuckled. "I also saw the wedding ring she was wearing. Not unlike the one you have on I might add."

Nancy just shook her head and moved to another part of the room where large groups of people were socializing. She looked around to see who she should talk to next. As her eyes were rounding the room she felt a little bump from behind and turned to look.

"I am so sorry. Please forgive me," said a petite woman with deep golden skin and chestnut hair pulled up in swirls on the back of her head.

Nancy quickly waved her off with, "Oh, don't worry about it. It's very crowded in here."

Nancy took a minute to study this woman trying to see if she could figure out why she was here. She was exquisitely beautiful in an exotic way. Her coloring was unique and her dress, though very elegant was not from any designer she knew. The dress was emerald green and gold with a V neck and thin shoulder straps that crisscrossed along the top of her back and left the rest open all the way to her waist. She had amazing muscle tone in her arms and back and Nancy wondered how much time she spent lifting weights each day to get that definition. The rest of the dress hugged her petite curves then fell loosely to the floor.

"Yes, I keep wondering if I will get lost just in this room alone." The woman responded.

Nancy went back into work mode. "Hi, I'm Nancy Anderson. I'm a director with Homeland Security. It's nice to meet you."

The petite woman gave a warm smile and returned, "It is an honor to meet you, Nancy. I am Teyla Emmagen. I am with the delegation from Atlantis. This is a wonderful tribute they are giving however it has been very hectic for some of us."

"I can imagine," Nancy sympathized. "What do you do on Atlantis and how long have you been there?"

Teyla grinned and rolled her eyes. "I have _many_ roles on Atlantis. But suffice it to say I have a diplomatic role in negotiating between allies. And I have lived in the city now for ten years."

Nancy's eyes lit up. "So you were on the original expedition? I can't place your accent. Where are you from?"

"I was _not _on the expedition to Atlantis when your people first came as I am from a planet called Athos which is located _in _the Pegasus Galaxy. But I came to live with the Lanteans and even became _one_ of them shortly after their arrival. We have worked together as allies ever since."

Now Nancy was really excited. She had met her first alien. She'd wondered if there would be any here. But looking at this woman she never would have guessed it.

"So what do you think of Earth? Is this your first trip here?"

"I have been here several times," Teyla informed her. "The longest trip was in San Francisco approximately five years ago but we have visited my husband's brother a few times as well."

Nancy looked confused but now noticed the wedding ring that was on the woman's left hand. "Who are you married to? Someone from Earth?"

Teyla nodded. "Yes, my husband is the Military Commander of the base."

"Ah, Dr. Beckett was telling me about him earlier. Apparently he's a bit of a daredevil hero."

Teyla gave a delicate laugh then sighed. "Yes, he risks his life often to save others. But our lives are such that it is what we must do in order to survive."

"So you met him pretty soon after you got there?" Nancy questioned. "Was it on your planet?"

"Yes, he was with a group of soldiers who came to see us looking for information but the Wraith, a formidable enemy, attacked and captured several of his people and mine. He came to our rescue and our people have been allies ever since."

"A knight in shining armor, sounds very romantic," Nancy sighed. "Did you fall in love with him right then?"

Teyla continued to smile. "I believe it was the _beginning _of my feelings for him. But it was not for many years that we came to openly admit our feelings for each other."

"Why not?" Nancy looked disappointed.

"My husband is not one to show his feelings outwardly and he did not know of my feelings, either. And there was much to do in the city so romance was not high on the list of priorities for him."

Nancy nodded her head thinking of John. "Most military men think they have to keep their feelings buried inside and that it would be beneath them to actually let someone see them sometime."

Teyla's eyes grew warm in memory. "But he has grown much these last few years and they have been good years so I will not complain."

Nancy took another glass from a passing waiter and offered one to Teyla.

Teyla was just saying, "No thank you," when they heard a little voice yell, "Mama!"

They both looked to see two young children skipping over to where they were. Nancy looked surprised. She didn't think children would be invited to an event like this. It was highly unorthodox.

Teyla saw her curiosity and explained, "My husband is involved in a special presentation and General O'Neill felt maybe the children should be here to see it. They will be returning to our hotel room with a babysitter shortly after."

Nancy leaned over slightly and greeted them. "Hi, I'm Nancy."

"This is Torren, he is six years old," Teyla patted the boy on the head. He was tugging on his tie and Nancy got the impression he didn't get dressed up very often. The little girl was twirling around making the skirt of her deep purple taffeta dress puff out.

"Charin," Teyla gently reminded the little girl who immediately stopped dancing and smoothed down her skirts. "I am sorry. She is quite taken with the outfit she is wearing. We have no need of such finery where we live."

"No need to apologize. She's enjoying herself," Nancy replied. "How old is she?"

"She is three and I'm actually six and _a half_," the young boy emphasized. "And my name is TJ. Nobody has the name Torren on Earth, Mom." He looked up at Nancy and told her, "My Dad always calls me TJ."

"And where is your father?" Teyla looked suspicious. "He was supposed to be watching you two."

"He's right over there talking to some military guy. He said we could come with you." TJ pointed in the direction of several groups of people, most of whom were wearing military uniforms. Nancy wasn't sure which person or even which group the boy's father was in. She sure would like to meet him though; he sounded intriguing.

She looked through the groups all mulling around, trying to figure out which one could possibly be the Military Commander. Some were too young, some too old although maybe Teyla preferred older men, but there were quite a few that fit the bill. As her eyes continued to peruse, they stopped when they noticed one man in dress blues whose hair was sticking up all over the back of his head. Oh God; it was John. She'd know that hair anywhere.

He was speaking with several people, all military, although he actually looked like he was doing more listening than talking. That was typical. John was never one for idle chatter.

She looked down as the boy near her started wiggling a bit and Teyla looked at him sharply. "Torren, do you need to use the bathroom?"

At the boy's nod she sighed, "You will need to get your father to take you. You are getting much too old to go in the Ladies' room."

The boy nodded again and moved toward the groups of military people. Nancy carefully watched him go so she could get a glimpse of this Military Commander, the one who was so brave and heroic and who had spent ten years in another galaxy, risking his life for those he served. The boy moved to the group near where John was but wiggled inside the circle of people and Nancy couldn't see exactly who he was talking to.

Then she saw John take a step back and reach for the boy's hand, pulling him out of the circle. Her heart almost stopped. No! This couldn't be right. There was no way John had just cavalierly packed up and went off to another galaxy knowing he might not return. But then again, how many times had he just flown off on a mission that was so top secret and dangerous that he couldn't even discuss it with her?

John took a step away from the group, his eyes searching and stopping when they saw Teyla. He gave a tiny smile then his eyes noticed her standing there and he made almost a face or grimace.

Teyla stood there confused. "Your father just made a very funny face at me, Charin. I do not know why."

"Daddy always mate funny faces, Mama," the child reminded her.

Nancy took a deep breath and replied, "I think it's because of me. I … didn't realize your husband … was John Sheppard."

"You know John?" Teyla asked enthusiastically.

Nancy wasn't so sure she would be enthusiastic once she knew how. "Yes, John and I … used to be married."

Teyla's eyes narrowed then a knowing smile formed. "Yes. You are Nancy. John has mentioned you."

"He's talked about me?" Nancy asked puzzled. She was surprised but inwardly delighted. Although maybe she should find out exactly what he'd said first.

"He told me he had been married previously. He did not say much about you but I feel he wanted to _warn_ me that he was not very good at being a husband."

Teyla grinned at this like it was a funny joke. But Nancy knew John _hadn't_ been a great husband. Well, he _had_ been when he'd actually been home, she amended. He was always loving and caring and made her laugh and feel like she was incredibly beautiful. But he hadn't shared the most important part of him with her; his heart and soul. He had always kept that just out of reach and unattainable. Nancy wondered if Teyla had been able to find that part of him.

"Has he been? A good husband?" The words slipped out of Nancy's mouth before she realized they should stay inside.

Teyla nodded with a satisfied look on her face. "I could ask for no better. He is a wonderful father as well. He is so loving and caring toward the children and he spends much time making sure they are well behaved and courteous but he also is diligent in ensuring they know how to have fun. I am sure you are aware that John is still very much a child himself in many ways. He takes such joy in spending time and playing with both of them."

Nancy put on her political party smile and said, "I'm glad it's worked out for you, and for John, too. I imagine the fact that you work together has made things a bit better than what I had. John was always away on missions and I never knew where he was or when he would be back and he'd never even share any of his feelings about what happened. He was away far too often to feel like I was even married to him."

"Our situation is much different from the one you describe. I am fully aware of what John does and where he is going and often times I will accompany him. Before I had the children I was part of his team and would join him on all his missions however since the children my role in away missions has decreased and my diplomatic responsibilities have increased. However, there are times even now where I will join him if my specific skills are required."

"Your specific skills?" Nancy questioned.

"Yeah," John's voice came up from behind her. "She's pretty accurate with a P-90 and she can kick ass like no one else."

Charin laughed at her father's language and Teyla gave him an impatient glare. "John, when the children start repeating these words, you know you will be the one explaining why they should not use them."

He almost looked properly chastised except for the smug grin that tried to peek out. "You might want to take Charin to the bathroom, too. I think they might start soon."

Teyla scooped the little girl into her arms and inclined her head at Nancy. "It was an honor to meet you, Nancy. Perhaps we will speak again later."

As Teyla moved off, John looked at her awkwardly and acknowledged her. "Nancy. I guess I should have figured you'd be here."

"John," Nancy greeted back no less awkward. "I did see your name on the list but I had no idea that you were one of the Atlantis contingent. I guess that was the deep, dark secret that no one wanted me to know when I did my digging on you all those years ago. I can't believe you've lived in another galaxy for the last ten years. I heard some stories today about the Atlantis Military Commander being a regular GI Joe Hero. I didn't realize it was you."

John just looked uncomfortable as he always did when people gave him compliments and he stayed silent too. Not that Nancy was surprised. Small talk was not high on John's list of things he liked or did well. But she saw him take a deep breath and make an attempt.

"So you here for work tonight?" he asked looking around almost as if he was hoping someone would come rescue him from this conversation.

"Yes," she answered. "I'm still with Homeland Security. Uh, Grant's here, too. He's talking to a few senators who he's friendly with." Nancy didn't know why she felt the need to throw that information in there. It wasn't like she needed or wanted to impress John. It really didn't matter what he thought of her anymore. _Liar! You still want him to think you are an amazing, successful woman. And go ahead, admit that you're disappointed that he hasn't even checked out your dress or what's in it, like he could care less that you still have a great body_.

Nancy gave herself a little shake. It didn't really matter what John thought or that he wasn't interested in her dress. Why _would_ he be when his wife's petite little figure would rival anyone's here tonight. And how did she keep that figure anyway? The woman had given birth to two children.

"Dad?" the voice of the little boy she had just been thinking about broke into Nancy's thoughts. John looked down almost gratefully and when he smiled at the child Nancy saw John's whole face change. His eyes filled with wonder and awe and love and Nancy didn't realize John could show that much emotion in just one gaze.

"When are we gonna eat? I'm starving."

"I know, Pal, you've been great so far." And John pulled the boy into his side and leaned down to kiss the top of his head. And it was all very casual like it was something he did all the time. "We should be starting very soon."

Torren or TJ as he liked to be called Nancy remembered, wondering if the J stood for John, snuggled in closer to his father and looked up like he was a bit unsure of something and whispered, "Dad?"

John lowered himself to the boy's height and ruffled his hair. "What's up?"

TJ looked at his father conspiratorially and said, "I looked at the menu and they're having asparagus. I don't think I'll like asparagus. But you know Mom and her vegetables."

John moved his head in closer to his son's and cleared his throat. "You know what our deal is right?"

Nancy figured the kid would have to eat the asparagus or suffer some dire consequences. But she almost laughed when she heard the boy's answer.

"Yup, I distract Mom and you eat my vegetables."

John continued to look serious and added, "Yeah, but don't forget the rest of the deal."

This time TJ's shoulders sagged and his voice got low, "You get some of my dessert. But I really like the dessert they're having Dad!" The child finished in a whine.

John stood back up and rested his hand on the boy's shoulder. "You know what the deal is. You want me to eat your vegetables I need some payment. I don't think a few bites of your dessert is asking too much. Besides asparagus isn't one of _my_ favorites, either. You're lucky I'm not asking for your whole dessert. And the distraction better be a good one because I think your Mom is getting wise to our little ploy."

"You know TJ," Nancy said as her memory flew back in time. "I remember back when your father and I were … uh, friends … he really hated brussel sprouts. We were having dinner at my family's house and I discovered him feeding the brussel sprouts to the dog under the table."

TJ giggled and looked at his father with admiration. "You really did that, Dad?"

John rolled his eyes and sent a mischievous glare at Nancy. When he did, her heart skipped a beat. God, how she missed that playful look. She took a deep calming breath and listened as John addressed his son.

"Yeah," he admitted. "Just be thankful they aren't having brussel sprouts for dinner tonight, Pal, because no amount of dessert would get me to eat those things."

TJ laughed again but then the light flickered indicating dinner was being served. Teyla appeared behind John and reached for TJ's hand as she gave a polite smile to Nancy. John picked up the little girl, her layers of tulle petticoats floating around his middle and kissed her noisily on the cheek. She returned the favor and gave him several kisses on his cheek. Again Nancy noticed the complete look of happiness and love on his face. But she wasn't jealous! No, she didn't need things like children in her life to make it meaningful. She and Grant had each other and their jobs and that was enough.

They moved to their seats and Nancy saw that John's table was right next to the one she and Grant were at. Grant appeared within minutes of the dinner signal and seated himself next to her. She leaned over and gave him a prolonged kiss, asking how his conversations went with the senators.

As Grant started an in depth description of whom he had talked to and what they had discussed, Nancy looked at the next table. John and Teyla were sitting with the children in between them and she could see them quite clearly. She noticed Carson Beckett and Dr. McKay sitting with them also, along with John's friend Ronon that she had met at Patrick Sheppard's wake. Another woman with blond hair and a very pregnant stomach was sitting with them. The way Dr. McKay was fussing over her, she assumed it was McKay's wife.

She thought about these people who had willingly left home to live in another galaxy where getting back to Earth was not always a guarantee. And from the little information they'd released about Atlantis so far, it sounded like the place had a whole host of dangers that were far worse than anything here on this planet. Why would anyone choose to go there?

She knew why John would. The man was a thrill seeker. His childhood hero was Evil Knievel and that just about summed it all up. But these others, she couldn't imagine what their motivation was. Maybe she'd get a chance to speak with them later.

The salads came and then the main meal and Nancy kept her smile pasted on her face as Grant continued talking and conversing with the others at their table. Luckily she wasn't required to contribute in any way. She could just watch the table next to her.

She had convinced herself she was only doing it because the kids were so cute. And they were; absolutely adorable. But she had never been one to fawn all over the younger set. John had always been the one the kids had flocked to and it didn't look like things had changed all that much. Now they were just his own kids.

He spent some time cutting up the chicken for both of them and reminding them not to talk when they had food in their mouth. But she also caught him sticking a spoon to the end of his nose and the little boy attempting it too until Teyla rolled her eyes and shook her head. John and the boy both started laughing. Yes, it was a good thing she and John hadn't stayed together. He never could behave properly at elegant functions. He'd try but then he'd get bored and itchy and sullen.

When John was just about done, the little girl crawled into his lap and sat talking to him in a very animated way. He kept his eyes trained on her every word and made faces every now and then to show that what she was saying was extremely important or funny or exciting. When she was done he stuck his nose in her neck and started doing something that made her squeal with delight. Torren took that moment to stand up and point to something across the room.

Teyla turned to look and John took the opportunity to snatch the kid's asparagus and sneak them in his mouth. By the time Teyla turned back John was happily chewing the evidence into oblivion. But Nancy had seen the expression on Teyla's face. She knew exactly what was going on. But apparently she was willing to play along as Nancy heard her praise her son for finishing his vegetables.

When the desserts were just being finished, of which John got an extra bite of TJ's, General O'Neill walked to the front of the room and up the few steps to the platform. He tapped on the microphone a few times to make sure it was working then began.

"Okay folks, we're here for a few reasons tonight but one of the biggest is to commemorate ten years from the beginning of the Atlantis Expedition in the Pegasus Galaxy. And as most of you know I'm not one for long speeches so I thought we'd kick this off with a little look back in time to when this all began."

The lights dimmed a bit and he looked behind him to a large screen. "You might recognize some of the faces in this little clip and some of them are sitting right here tonight, although they're all a bit older and hopefully a lot wiser. I myself have a small part so make sure you look out for that. And due to government budget cuts we couldn't afford a proper camera crew so we needed to use security camera footage. I'm sure you'll forgive us. Here we go."

Nancy watched as footage of what she'd come to know as Stargate Command came on. A woman with short dark curls stood up in front of the crowd that was assembled in the gate room. She gave them a pep talk about the adventure they were about to embark on and gave anyone who wanted a last chance to withdraw their participation. They showed all the people standing firm in their decision and Nancy spotted John, right in the front and center of the group. He looked like he was just going out for a casual stroll, armed with a dangerous machine gun, that is.

There were a few close ups of some of the people in the room she'd seen today and when John came on she heard Charin yell out, "Daddy, dat you!"

A chuckle rose in the room and they continued to watch as the Marine unit went through the active gate first then Nancy saw John move up the ramp. She was actually surprised that he seemed a bit nervous. But who wouldn't be? They'd had no idea if where they were going was even Atlantis and they knew they might never be coming back. She would have been petrified. Although to be truthful, she never would have done something like that to begin with.

The clip ended with General O'Neill, ten years younger, rolling a bottle of champagne through the gate and it shutting down. The projector was shut off and the lights turned back up.

"So out of those hundred plus people who stepped through the gate that day ten years ago," O'Neill started explaining again, "We have an even dozen who are still there and going strong. We've tried to get them to come home a few times but usually their response is, 'I am home' and that is what Atlantis has become to them; home. I'd like for those people to come up to the stage as I call their names to be recognized for the dedication and commitment they have given to this expedition."

O'Neill looked out into the audience and said, "Just checking that some of them haven't skipped out already. We have a few shy ones. We'll start with the man who has been the Military Commander of the base for the past ten years. Colonel John Sheppard."

The audience clapped and Nancy saw John get up reluctantly and move to the stage. He walked up and General O'Neill shook his hand and then announced the next name.

"The head of Science and Research, Dr. Rodney McKay." Again Dr. McKay came up to thunderous applause and a handshake from O'Neill.

As O'Neill read off more names like Dr. Carson Beckett, Nancy kind of stopped listening, her eyes focused on John. She heard a smattering of other names, another scientist named Zalenka, head of the Gate Control, Chuck something, some nurse named Marie, a Sergeant named Stackhouse and a few others. But she could see John standing there on display, hating every minute of it but looking so handsome in his dress uniform. She noticed his display of ribbons had grown even more extensive than when they'd been together.

When O'Neill finished the list he cleared his throat and said, "There is one person who we'd like to recognize but this person wasn't actually a member of the original expedition but has certainly been there from the beginning. The expedition wouldn't be where they are today without the assistance of this person. I'd like to say a heartfelt thank you to Teyla Emmagen Sheppard who became a member of the team very shortly after this crew stepped through the gate."

Teyla stood up to cheers of, "Yay, Mama!" from her kids and she gracefully walked up to the platform.

General O'Neill continued, "I'm gonna ask these people to stay up here for a few minutes while we do the next part. These people here made a huge commitment but they asked that we also recognize the people who also made the original commitment but gave their lives as a result."

John and Dr. McKay moved to the podium and started reading a list. "Col. Marshall Sumner, Dr. Elizabeth Weir, Dr. Peter Grodin, Dr. Brendan Gall, Dr. Zachary Abrams, Lt. Aidan Ford, Sgt. James Markham…,"

The list continued with quite a few names and Nancy only vaguely registered them; Smith, Wagner, Dumais, Johnson, Heightmeyer, Peterson, Hays, Collins, Walker, Stevens,…

So many people had died and Nancy thought of the fact that John could so easily have been one of them. Didn't Dr. Beckett say that John was constantly being patched up and that they had thought he wouldn't make it a few times? So that meant that he had been injured pretty severely more than once. How did Teyla do it? Handle that? And maybe it would even be worse if you knew _exactly_ what your husband was doing. Nancy had at least always been able to convince herself that John was just flying around, not really on enemy lines anywhere. Delusional, yes but it had kept her sane.

The too long list finally ended and Nancy couldn't believe that those were just the people from the original expedition that had died. She wondered how many more had gone later only to perish as well. She didn't even want to think about it and again wondered why anyone would put their life on the line like that willingly.

The people on the platform all sat back down and O'Neill started talking again. "We also want to congratulate and say a special thank you to Richard Woolsey. He's finally decided to retire after six years of being the Expedition Leader." O'Neill got a twinkle in his eyes as he finished, "We all thought you should have retired five and a half years ago, Richard."

Richard Woolsey came up and shook hands with O'Neill and everyone gave him a grand applause. Woolsey moved to the microphone and began a little speech thanking everyone who had been so instrumental in helping him do his job. He especially thanked Colonel John Sheppard who had taught him that in the Pegasus Galaxy sometimes _unorthodox_ was the only way to go and be successful. After a few more minutes, O'Neill hustled him off saying he could talk more later if he wanted.

"Now many of you are wondering who will be replacing Mr. Woolsey as head of the expedition," O'Neill teased them all. "Well, we chose someone who has quite a bit of experience in the Pegasus Galaxy and is actually willing to take the job, although maybe a _little_ arm twisting was necessary. I'd like you all to congratulate Colonel John Sheppard."

The audience broke into applause again and John _again _looked like he'd rather be having a root canal. As he walked to the platform O'Neill continued, "Now I know you all probably want to hear some great motivating speech but I think Sheppard here is probably the only person I know who likes giving speeches _less_ than I do."

John shook hands again with O'Neill and said, "Thank you, General." He then faced the audience and gave his typical quirky grin. "I have to admit I wasn't sure about accepting this position but I think I've finally admitted I'm not as young as I used to be and maybe it's time for me to delegate some of the more dangerous jobs to these younger kids. And I know my family is thrilled about that."

He looked out into the audience right at Teyla and the children and continued, "I just want to say thank you to my wife, Teyla and my two beautiful children, Torren and Charin. You know I love you very much and I appreciate all the love and support you've always given me."

Nancy was floored by John's words. When they were married John had certainly said he loved her on occasion but mostly after they'd made love or he really wanted something. And he absolutely never did it in public or in front of a crowd. But right now he just announced to a room full of five hundred people that he loved them.

Nancy felt a twinge in her heart when she thought of what it would have been like if John had been that way with her. _Didn't you know I wanted you to be like this with me_? She thought back on how deeply she had loved John and how much it had hurt when they had split up. She knew she had initiated the break but she had never really _wanted_ it.

John was talking again so she tried to pay attention to his words. "So if _I'm_ running the city, I'll need someone to take over the position of Military Commander. I want to announce to you that I've chosen the newly promoted Lt. Col. Evan Lorne to step into my shoes. It shouldn't be too difficult as he's taken over for me more times than I can count in the last nine years. Congratulations Lorne, I have no doubts that you'll do a fine job."

A dark haired man in dress blues approached the platform and John shook his hand as applause once again rang out. Nancy wondered why exactly this man had needed to step in for John so much over the last nine years. The only thing she could think of was when John was injured and couldn't do his job. Maybe she'd need to seek out this Lt. Col. Lorne later and have a conversation with him.

General O'Neill made a few more announcements and presentations then told everyone to enjoy the rest of the party. Music started up and many people moved to the dance floor. As Grant was still involved in some political debate with a judicial aide sitting with them she took the opportunity to just check out what was going on in the room.

John had sat back at his table and Charin had crawled in his lap again. Dr. McKay seemed a bit agitated.

"You knew about this, didn't you?" he accused. "You knew they were putting you in charge of the expedition?"

"Yes, Rodney, I did," John admitted patiently. "They wouldn't have made the announcement if they hadn't asked me first. What if I didn't want the job?"

"Who wouldn't want the job?" scoffed McKay.

"Well, I wasn't so sure _**I**_ did at first," John revealed. "But they let me think about it for a while and after talking with Teyla…"

"Wait! Teyla knew," McKay blurted. "How come you told Teyla but you didn't tell me?"

John gave McKay one of the looks that Nancy knew meant 'are you kidding me' then answered, "She's my wife, McKay."

"Oh, yeah, okay," McKay responded like he wasn't sure that was a good enough reason.

"As I was saying," John continued, "I really like being the Military Commander but after talking to Teyla and realizing I have a few other considerations right now," at this he looked pointedly at his children, "I came to understand that this position might be a better fit for me and for my family."

McKay just let out a huff but didn't say anything.

His wife touched his arm and soothed him, "Rodney, you have to admit that the Colonel's a better choice for the job. He can keep cool under pressure and he doesn't let his emotions get in the way of his decisions. And I will admit that he's learned an awful lot of diplomacy from Teyla over the years."

She patted her expanded middle and continued, "And you have things that will keep you very occupied for a while, real soon."

"Just so you know," John added, "You were next on the list after me."

"Really?" the scientist squeaked and he seemed to calm down knowing that fact. Nancy thought he was a very odd man and wondered how John got along with him. Maybe a chat with him would be a good thing, too. He, at least, had noticed her dress.

John lifted his daughter out of his lap and handed her to Ronon. "You don't mind sitting with Uncle Ronon for a while, right Princess? I want to dance with your Mom."

He stood up and Ronon happily took Charin while John held his hand out for Teyla. She rose and he put his arm around her and leaned down but Nancy could just make out his words.

"Did I tell you how amazing you look in this dress?"

Teyla just smiled and replied, "Yes, John, at least five times."

John and Teyla moved to the dance floor and John pulled her in close, his face buried in her hair, her head resting on his shoulder. Nancy noticed Teyla was quite a bit shorter than John but the difference didn't seem to bother either one of them. She thought back to the times that she and John had danced, although John had never actually held her that close in public. She wondered if over time he would have loosened up and been that way with her or if this Teyla was the reason for his new attitude on public displays of affection.

Nancy took a deep breath and looked at Grant who had finally come up for air from his discussion. "Grant, I'd really love for you to take me out on the dance floor."

Grant gave her a pleasant smile and stood up. "Of course, darling. You've been so good listening to our conversations all night. You deserve a little break."

She and Grant moved to the dance floor and he pulled her in for the traditional dance position. They moved perfectly and gracefully and she knew they looked exactly like a couple should in this type of situation. But she glanced back to John and Teyla and saw their faces close together and they were whispering and practically cuddling on the dance floor. No one seemed to be paying them any mind though, except maybe Nancy.

Nancy and Grant danced a few more times then Grant saw a few people he knew he absolutely must talk to and excused himself. Nancy decided she would walk around and chat with some of the people who had been on Atlantis. It wasn't because she wanted information about John; that was just silly. John meant nothing to her anymore. But the city was an exciting place and she wanted to learn more about it.

She saw the new Military Commander, Lt. Col. Lorne, and moved smoothly in his direction. When he turned from his interaction with another soldier in dress blues, she intercepted him.

"Congratulations, Colonel Lorne, on your promotion and new position. You must be very excited and proud."

"Thank you, ma'am." Lorne almost looked flustered. "I'm still getting used to the fact. I didn't realize that Colonel Sheppard was being offered the Expedition Leader position, freeing up his job."

She introduced herself then asked, "So you didn't even suspect that Colonel Sheppard would be offered the position?"

Lorne looked a bit sheepish. "Oh, he's definitely the best man for the job. I couldn't think of anyone who knows the Pegasus Galaxy better who isn't _from_ there. But Colonel Sheppard isn't always popular with the big brass. As Mr. Woolsey said, he can be quite unorthodox in his way of leading and dealing with problems. But his way works most of the time and I guess Mr. Woolsey and a lot of the others making the decision finally saw that, too."

"So have you enjoyed working for Colonel Sheppard?" Nancy asked, telling herself she was just making small talk.

"Oh, immensely," Lorne nodded. "And if I have to do the job of Military Commander then I'm glad he'll be the person I report to. He's an extremely fair commanding officer and he treats everyone with respect and dignity. And he's not afraid to get his hands dirty. If there's work that needs to be done, he'll do it. Being Military Commander he could have just delegated so much more to the grunts but he never asked anyone to do anything that he wasn't willing to do himself. I have to admit that I'm a little nervous. Filling his shoes permanently will be quite an undertaking."

Nancy's eyes glanced over to where John and Teyla were still moving closely on the dance floor. Lorne noticed where she was looking.

"It's been a bit hectic on Atlantis the last few weeks, getting everyone ready to come here and making sure those staying behind would be fine. The Colonel and Teyla probably haven't had a chance to even see each other never mind anything else."

Lorne blushed at what he'd said and Nancy just smiled. "So Colonel Sheppard and his wife are happy then?"

"Oh, yeah," Lorne agreed. "Those two are crazy about each other. Although I think everyone else knew how much they meant to each other before _they_ ever did. So many times Colonel Sheppard risked his life to save Teyla. I mean he'd do that for anyone but he always seemed to go above and beyond to make sure that Teyla was okay. He risked his life and his career on more than one occasion."

Nancy kept her smile in place knowing that John had never even thought about giving up his career or even just the dangerous part of his career for her. What was so special about this woman that John would risk it all for her?

"What's so special about his wife?" slid out and Nancy wondered if Freud was having a field day in his grave over her little slips today.

Lorne's eyes lit up and he gave a big smile. "Teyla is simply amazing. She's got it all; physical and emotional strength, diplomacy and negotiating skills, a calm relaxed manner that makes everyone around her feel comfortable and she's truly one of the nicest people you will ever meet. I think most of the guys on base are all secretly in love with her. But they also know she is _completely_ off limits. She's only got eyes for the Colonel and the feeling is completely reciprocated."

"It must be wonderful to have that kind of devotion for each other. Does it get too much at times for others to see?"

Lorne looked confused for a second then amended, "Oh, no, the Colonel and Teyla are completely professional at all times in the city even when they're off duty. Colonel Sheppard isn't one for displaying his emotions for everyone to see." He looked over to where the couple was still dancing. "This is a pretty unique view of them. But there are really only a few dozen people from the base here so maybe he feels he can let loose a bit. That and the fact that they haven't really had any time together lately, like I said. But they are _always _professional with each other."

Lorne glanced over to where John had now started swirling around on the dance floor with his daughter and they were both laughing out loud and he chuckled, "Now the Colonel and his kids; that's a very different story. Just last week he was teaching Torren how to skateboard in the hallways and he's actually been known to have a tea party with Charin in the mess hall on occasion. And nobody dares give him a hard time about it because they know they'd be scrubbing the gate room floor for a month. And most people actually enjoy seeing that paternal side of him. There's no doubt that he loves those kids."

Nancy nodded and thanked Lorne for the chat and congratulated him again. She moved from spot to spot and had little conversations with many of the people from Atlantis as well as some of the other guests. She had another drink then decided to use the Ladies' Room and freshen up. She was just washing her hands when she overheard a few women talking in the elegant sitting area just on the other side of the wall from where she was. They were talking about John so she stayed where she was and just peeked to see that it was the pregnant wife of Dr. McKay and an Asian woman.

"So, Marie, Teyla told me that Colonel Sheppard's ex-wife is here and that she met her."

Marie looked intrigued and asked, "What did she say she was like?"

"Teyla said she was very beautiful and extremely pleasant. They didn't even realize who each other was until Torren went to get John and this woman, Nancy I believe her name is, saw that he had gone over to him. She then told Teyla who she was."

"Was Teyla jealous, Jennifer?" Marie asked curiously.

Jennifer shrugged. "You know Teyla, she's completely secure in her relationship with the Colonel. The man would _die_ for her, almost _has_ on numerous occasions, so I don't think Teyla needs to worry about his having second thoughts about his previous marriage. But you should have seen Rodney's face when he found out she was here. He kept badgering Teyla to point her out. I thought he was gonna blow a gasket when he realized she was this woman who had been talking to Carson earlier. Rodney said she was totally hot and he asked John what the hell he was thinking dumping someone like her."

"What did Colonel Sheppard say?"

"He just glared at Rodney and said that _she _had dumped _him._ That pretty much shut him up and stopped the conversation about her."

Marie still was curious. "Did the Colonel seem upset that she was here?"

"Not really, more like awkward. You know how he is when anyone asks him anything personal. Ask him how to disassemble a P-90 or his 9mm or let him talk about the ratio of C-4 needed to get the right blast for any obstruction and he's fine, ask him something personal, he gets a little twitchy."

Marie laughed. "Yes, I know what you mean. He'd rather shoot himself in the foot than discuss his feelings."

"Well, at least he's not like that with Teyla," Jennifer amended. "I know for a fact that he and Teyla discuss their feelings all the time, just not out in public. People don't always realize I'm lurking when they're in the infirmary. You should have heard some of the sweet things Colonel Sheppard said to Teyla when Charin was born. I was almost in tears at the love he showed her. I only hope Rodney is even half as affectionate when I finally get this child out of me."

Marie chuckled, "Well you better have him start practicing since you don't have much longer to go. Hopefully you'll make it back to Wisconsin before he arrives."

"We're leaving in the morning and as long as the baby comes in the next few weeks, like he's supposed to, I should be back in Atlantis next month. Tell Radek to enjoy the time without Rodney, huh?"

The two women finally stood up and moved toward the door, Jennifer asking, "Speaking of Radek, when are the two of you going to finally make it official?"

Nancy moved into the outer room and stared at her reflection thinking about all she had just overheard. She shook her head and moved out of the room into the immense foyer and found a comfortable chair to sit in, next to a large flowering tree.

She started thinking back to her relationship and marriage with John and wondered what they could have done differently to make things work. Her thoughts were interrupted however by a tiny giggle from the other side of the tree. She leaned back to look through a gap in the branches and saw the object of her thoughts standing tucked in the little nook with his wife, their arms around each other.

"You sure you don't want to blow this clambake and head back up to the room? We can send the babysitter away and the kids will be asleep shortly in the second bedroom and then maybe I could actually spend a little quality time with my wife."

"And what would this quality time consist of?" Teyla asked in her very proper tone however Nancy could hear a bit of mischief in it, too.

"Well, as much as I like you in this dress I think I might like you _out _of this dress even more." He leaned down and gave her a passionate kiss then sighed.

"God, Teyla, I think it's been forever since we had any real time alone together."

Teyla moved back slightly and chuckled softly. "Forever, John? You are a bit overdramatic. I have proof that we have indeed had intimate time together at least eight weeks ago. And Jennifer says that we should be able to hear the baby's heartbeat on my next checkup in a few weeks."

John moved Teyla so he could slip his arms around her to rest on her perfectly flat stomach. He rested his head next to hers and gave a deep sigh. Nancy saw his hands caress her abdomen and Teyla's hands moved over his. He kissed her cheek and nuzzled his nose into her neck.

"I love you so much, Teyla. Do I ever tell you that enough?"

"Even if you do not say the words, John, you show me with every action of your day that I am the reason your heart beats with love. As mine beats with love for you. And now for yet one more child."

"You know Ronon already suspects. Not sure how he knows these things."

Teyla gave a dainty laugh. "Ronon knows you too well and he sees the goofy grin you wear and the way you stare at my stomach. He is just very observant and you do not always hide your excitement as well as you think."

John's hands tightened around her. "I just can't help it. Seeing you pregnant with _my _child gives me the most incredible feeling. It's kind of hard to hide."

"Then you need not hide it. And very soon our news will be hard to hide as my pants have already become snug. This third child will not be as easy to keep quiet. I have been told I will 'pop out' sooner than I did with the last two."

"That's okay, I like it when you pop out. You are the most amazingly beautiful pregnant woman, Teyla. But I guess for now we just keep things to ourselves. And if we're not going back up to the room, I suppose we should rejoin the party. General O'Neill had a few foreign dignitaries he wanted us to meet. You've got to come with me and make sure I don't say anything stupid. You know how I am with fancy affairs."

Teyla turned around and started brushing his jacket down and fixing his tie and John just stared at her with so much love in his eyes that Nancy had to turn away. The couple left their spot and fortunately didn't notice her as they moved back into the ballroom.

Nancy again moved back in time to when she and John had been married for just ten months. She had been a little late and thought she might be pregnant. John had been so excited and she thought that maybe that was the way to get him to finally stay home with her. He had treated her like glass and given her so much attention she was in heaven. But then he had gotten a call. One of the ones that always took him away for a while. And he had left. With no explanation other than he was needed. By the time he had returned a week later she had discovered it was just a false alarm but she had decided then that she wouldn't have any children with John until he would actually stay home with her. There was no way she was raising children while he gallivanted all over the world in dangerous missions, possibly leaving her alone with them forever.

She thought back to the conversation she had overheard in the Ladies' Room where Dr. McKay's wife had said John claimed _she_ had dumped _him_. And while that was technically true, Nancy knew it wasn't because she hadn't loved him. She remembered back to how desperately she had wanted John to ask her, beg her to stay. _Didn't you know how much I loved you, John?_

Nancy took a deep breath when she realized it was all water under the bridge now. She had Grant and they were very happy and suited to each other. She knew John's inability to remain serious at functions like this would have driven her crazy. She loved coming to these events and reveled in meeting new people and socializing with dignitaries and the cream of DC society. John didn't fit in with this world and he never would.

But he obviously fit in with the new world that he had helped form in the city of Atlantis. Ten years was a long time to remain faithful to something. Nancy had thought John couldn't commit to anything for that length of time. But apparently she was wrong. Not only did John make a commitment to the city of Atlantis and the inhabitants of the Pegasus Galaxy, he also made a very deep commitment to Teyla. So much so that they were now having a third child.

She should be happy for him and she knew deep down that she was. John's happiness was important to her. But she still wondered what would have happened if they had stayed together. But they weren't and there was no use looking at would-have-beens. She was in the here and now. And here and now she had a whole room full of important dignitaries that she could charm and socialize with. And that was her world. And she knew she was good at what she did and enjoyed being in her world.

She got up from the chair, straightened her dress just so, pulled her shoulders back and walked back into the ballroom, ready for _her _next adventure.

.

.

"You coming to bed, Nancy?" Grant called out as she moved around her office after they'd returned home that night.

"I'll be right there," she called back. She knew Grant had made some great connections tonight and he was excited. And when he got that way Nancy knew he would want to share it physically with her. It was predictable but she liked predictable.

She finished flipping through the wedding album she'd pulled out while Grant was cleaning up. She and John had been so young and yes they had been in love. But she knew now, that for her at least, sometimes that wasn't enough.

She'd spent a lot of time thinking about her relationship and marriage with John tonight. And she knew they really were from different worlds. Her world was here with Grant and his was in a galaxy far away with an alien woman who had mesmerized him and stolen his heart. She could never live that way and she knew John would never survive here.

She took one last look at the picture of she and John at their wedding then took a deep breath and slipped the book deep into the back of the closet just as she slipped John deep into the back of her mind. She knew he would always be there but like the photo album it was just a pleasant memory to be pulled out occasionally to smile about but not to dwell on or long for.

She closed the door to the office and moved to the bedroom where she knew she'd find what she needed; a man who loved her exclusively and who knew that she loved him.

.

.


End file.
